A Story of Cookies, Squiddy and Unknown Family Mem
by Blu Evermind
Summary: Snape is at the breaking point. He needs a little room to breathe *aka* Snape singing rock? o_O Believe me, if this doesn't make sense, the story won't either. But we can promise it to be funny. Very funny in our own little weird way.


Title: A Story of Cookies, Squiddy, and Unknown Family Members  
  
Author: Blu Evermind  
  
Summary: Eh, I'll be suprised if this story makes half as much sense as I wanted it to be. Did that sentence even make sense? See....  
  
CHAPTER ONE--The Final Breaking of Snape  
  
It had been a bad day. No, that's not the word. It had been a horrible day, no that didn't explain it either...Severus Snape rubbed his forehead and sighed. Thinking of words to explain this day was making his head hurt. There had a be a spell or potion that Severus could cast or make to feel better, but hell if he was going to try and make it. All Muggles had to do was take a pill. It took months of brewing and boiling and dancing naked in the moonlight in a bath of snail goopy stuff to make you feel better if you were a wizard.  
  
There was a knock on his door. He sighed and mumbled "come in" and the door slowly opened to reveal Albus Dumbledore, with a very urgent look in his eyes. "Um, sorry to bother you Severus, but I need you to go to the store for me."  
  
Severus looked up, barely being able to make his face as unbelievingly sarcastic as possible, "Your not that old." he mumbled rudely, but he had a reason, people!  
  
"I know, but its for toothpaste!" Dumbledore said.  
  
"Toothpaste?"  
  
"Toothpaste! Do you know what that means?"  
  
"No, care to explain it to me?" Why was he delving deeper and deeper into the conversation? Why was his head feeling like this?  
  
"Its toothpaste! Isn't that enough! The importance of it being toothpaste is all there is! Do you not see, Severus? Toothpaste!" Dumbledore was close enough to grab hold of Severus' collar now and the younger man wish he wouldn't. Because then, he'd be forced to kill him. He wouldn't be feeling too sad afterwards but he'd have killed what had to be the oldest living man alive.  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"No..." Snape didn't know what had spurred it but he didn't let it stop. "I cannot take this anymore."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm saying everything I've said before"  
  
Dumbledore's eyes filled with suprise as he stared back at Snape's which were practically yelling rage. "Severus, are you alright? What are you saying?"  
  
"All these words they make no sense! I find bliss in ignorance!" Snape covered his ears, "Less I hear, the less you'll say--but you find that out anyway!"  
  
Dumbledore was backing up to a chair now and found that he was sitting in it.  
  
"Just like before!"  
  
Meanwhile, in the Slytherin common room, many conversations were cut off as they heard Professor Snape yelling at the Headmaster. Draco, who was trying in vain to have one with Crabbe and Goyle, stood up and ran over to the wall, placing his ear on it, "It sounds like Linkin Park."  
  
"Linkin Park?" Gregory asked.  
  
"Its American Muggle music." Draco responded, thinking Goyle was very foolish not to know of Linkin Park. They kicked ass.  
  
"You listen to Muggle music?" Crabbe asked quickly, well, quickly enough for Crabbe to be responding.  
  
Draco turned around quickly, suddenly understanding what he had been telling them, "Um...no, of course not. I've just heard of the rubbish."  
  
***  
  
Snape had his arms now on the armrests of the chair Dumbledore was sitting in, yelling at the headmaster as he sunk deeper and deeper into the chair.   
  
"Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge...and I'm about to break!" he screamed, "I need a little room to breathe cause I'm one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break!"  
  
Dumbledore sat back up as Snape backed away, turning to his desk, quickly cleaning it off with a magical blast from his hand. This felt good, letting it all out. The anger, the pain, the confusion...the pissy atitude towards other human beings. The anger he felt towards all those dumbass kids around him, asking questions he didn't well care to fucking answer. "I find the answers aren't always so clear. Wish I could find a way to disappear. All these thoughts they make no sense, I find bliss in ingnorance! Nothing seems to go away, over and over again! Just like before..."  
  
***  
  
It had gotten so loud that now the Gryffindors could hear the singing, of course, they knew who it was right away, only a few got up and walked out of the common room to the hall to hear it from all the way downstairs.  
  
Angelina, Snape's neice was in front, "Well, whatever he's mad about, he's letting everyone hear."  
  
"Yeah, he's damn well getting the message through.." Harry added.  
  
"I wish he'd hum and let us all go to sleep!" Said a blurry eyed Ron.  
  
***  
  
Snape threw a broken ink bottle out of the window and heard something yell and fall, oh well. He'd think about it later. "Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break!!! I need a little room to breathe cause I'm one step closer to the edge and I'm about break!" he ripped up some parchments he had been grading a while ago, but didn't care. Like whoever wrote deserved even the F he was going to give them..."EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME TAKES ME ONE STEP TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!! I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREATHE CAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!"  
  
"W-what?" Dumbledore whispered, never being scared more than tonight. Severus was easily having a nervous breakdown and the only thing he could do was let him stay at it.  
  
"break break break.." Snape's voice was calming down, "break break--"  
  
Dumbledore stood up, about to walk over to Severus...it was over. He'd be okay. Just no working for a few days and Snape would be ready to get his toothpaste at anytime. He could wait, Albus just wouldn't be talking for a few days...but suddenly, Snape exploded, making Dumbledore jump back.  
  
"SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP--I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!"  
  
The amount of magic aloose in the room was atonishing, the candles were quickly burning out, causing the the parchment under them to go aflame, Dumbledore--too scared and and Snape--too angry, let it burn.  
  
***  
  
Draco was sliently singing it to himself now. "everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge and i'm about to break. I need a little room to breathe cause i'm one step closer to the edge and i'm about to break. Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge and i'm about to break. I need a little room to breathe cause i'm one step closer to the edge and i'm about to break. Break. I need a little room to breathe cause I'm one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break. break. break. break. break break. "  
  
***  
  
The Professors were even awakened, all rushed down to the Dungeons and saw Snape, screaming at the top of his lungs, paper awry and burning up. Mc Gonagall tried to come closer but a magical blast from his hand, flew her back a bit, hitting a shelf holding many odd looking creatures and the jars shattered to the floor, painting it in many different colors.  
  
"SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!"  
  
***  
  
Angelina was looking longfully at the stairs, "I have to see what the hell is going on!" and she began running to the stairs.  
  
"Do I smell smoke?" Harry said.  
  
"Lets check it out." Ron sighed sleepily.  
  
"Smoke? Oh no! My report!" Hermione cried, running after the trio.   
  
***  
  
"EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME TAKES ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK! I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREATHE CAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!" Snape was still yelling and the Professor's were still trying to stop him, but he looked as though he'd gone insane.   
  
Angelina, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had just ran into the office and saw the chaos and a very flustered looking Dumbledore in a chair mumbling something about toothpaste and Mc Gonagall smelling deeply of those vingeared worms that Freshman have to disect in Biology class.  
  
"EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME TAKES ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK! I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREATHE CAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!" With the last word, Snape fell to the floor, the last thing him seeing was his office in flames and Angelina crouching over him asking if he were okay and a muffled voice sounding like Draco Malfoy asking for an encore.......  
  
~END~  
  
***  
  
That didn't make alot of sense, did it? See? Oi, the song belongs to Linkin Park, The character Angelina Snape belongs to her rightful owner, and everyone else belongs to whatever corporate carpetbaggers own them now. Yeah, carpetbaggers...I said carpetbaggers--whatcha gonna do about it? 


End file.
